NEWS

NEWS: WAR, OBLIVION, TERRITORY

14/08/2009

In 2006, during a visit to Afghanistan, then-Prime Minister Tony Blair professed "[Britain] came to Afghanistan because the sickness and evil that was in Afghanistan came to us." The medicine meted out to this "evil," beginning directly after 9/11, was obviously a military one. Blair went on: "The roots of the Taliban, al-Qaeda, this type of global terrorism around the world, are deep and where they gained a foothold in a country like Afghanistan, it is going to take time to banish that for good."

During his visit he met the commander of the NATO forces there, a certain Lt. Gen. David Richards, who claimed that in spite of the tough resistance the Taliban were putting up, the fight was "winnable." Now, three years hence, we have the caveat to Richards' assertion: the war, aid, development (or whatever it is) is "winnable", but it might take forty years. With a view to temporal perspective, the British Raj lasted for 89 years, the Vietnam War for 16 years. A "low intensity conflict" lasting somewhere in between these two seems reasonable; therefore maybe Richards' estimate/quote/prophecy is not totally spurious.

Back in May Graham E. Fuller, former station chief of the CIA in Kabul, presented a more pessimistic view on the NATO presence in Afghanistan. He noted that any military occupation is liable to inflame local tensions, and that this tension confounds the old imperial borders of the region. Tony Blair's phrase "country like Afghanistan" thus takes on a strangely pragmatic air: the country(side) like that in Afghanistan is to be found within the borders of Pakistan, as are many allegiances. Does Richards' forty year war of attrition therefore include "incursions" into neighbouring Pakistan? Can a regional "intervention" to "banish evil" really be sustained for almost half a century against the Taliban in two countries, one of which is notionally an ally?

If the Forty Years War is a depressing prospect then never forget the coping mechanisms freedom and hard earned wealth have placed at your disposal. First of all: the escapism of sun, sand and sea; secondly, its bedfellow: alcohol. Naturally, the Brits are very close to the head of the field in the administration and dosing regime of this oblivion inducing combination, their consumption of the latter having doubled in the last sixty years. Experts can be found all across Mediterranean islands and in European capital cities, especially during the summer months.

Unfortunately this expertise is not appreciated by many of those native to such holiday spots; in fact, for some reason, hordes of drunken tourists stumbling around and excreting upon concrete idols seems to be causing a certain amount of angst for locals. In Riga the insistence of inebriated Brits on urinating all over the Latvian National Monument of Freedom has caused strong antagonism -the American who runs the local tourist office points out that even the Soviets didn't dare touch it. Still, in an act of defiance, a Greek woman – now a heroin to some - took a solitary, and effective stand when she set fire to the genitals being waved at her by a lewd British reveller. Sambuca was the fuel, and a cigarette lighter the source of ignition; perhaps police in Riga need to be re-equipped.

But surely democracy and Western values have more to offer than 18-30 holidays and drug related escapism? Maybe there is no need to escape at all! Indeed, the Balkans may hold the key to the materials of a life of hedonistic possibilities and a contentment found through possession. The cash-strapped Croatian government has put former Yugoslavian ruler Tito's private Adriatic islands up for sale. This is not a case of tasteless Ostalgie (nostalgia for the Communist Bloc); nary a bust of Marx, nor a mural of glorious workers presents itself on the €2.5 billion islands. In fact they are just the kind of sun-drenched locale which would be perfect for a beach-side bar and some Ryanair flights from London...

But in all seriousness, Tito's islands are indicative of what the Free World offers you: terrain. More precisely, secure terrain. Governments may be annoying, and taxes always seem too high, but the powers that be are busy securing terrain for you. America has its Mexican border fortifications; in Israel, a wall of mutual respect; in Europe various governments have also taken to the task of securing Europa with particular zeal. Italy, recipient of many of Europe's boat people, has come up with a bureaucratic solution in the form of new race laws. After legalising vigilante groups (if not Sambuca attacks) Italy is now working out whether an Italian should be allowed to marry an illegal migrant, and indeed if an illegal migrant should be allowed to retain any children they birth in Italy.

If the Kafkaian shadow of a gargantuan bureaucracy seems far away and far south of Hammersmith or Norwich, the rub comes with New Labour's continuing policy flails. Immigration is always a football that can be kicked particularly hard, so once again in a painfully embarrassing passage a l'acte ministers are looking to appear tough on migrants. In a proposed measure, migrants living in the UK will no longer be automatically entitled to British citizenship after five years, as they are now. Instead the Home Office wishes to create a points system which penalises those with "an active disregard for British values". According to the Border Agency proposal: "Newcomers to the UK must earn their right to citizenship by proving their commitment to the community and the country.” The ideas on how to show this commitment seem a little obscure, such as being able to speak English (will this be waived for mute people, and what if you know Welsh, but not English?) and a knowledge of British historical and political facts ("As an MP how many moat cleanings may be claimed on expenses per year?").

What would actually be truer to the "British values" of decency and fairness would be to to apply this citizenship test to everybody, migrant or otherwise. Of course any ignorance of, or dissent from, the correct line would be counted as a failure, and punished by instant deportation (perhaps to Crete, or Riga).

John Gullick

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